Potted Plants and Interpersonal Relationships
A few years ago, I moved into a new counselling office and decided to introduce some greenery to the space. To achieve this, I carefully selected several potted plants in varying sizes—large, medium, and small—and placed them thoughtfully around the room.
Among these, the Ponytail Palm, also known as the Elephant's Foot, became particularly popular. Its unique appearance won the hearts of many at first sight. When I initially brought it back, the plant grew in an upright direction. However, over time, possibly due to inconsistent sunlight or improper placement, it began to lean in various directions. Despite my best efforts, I could not restore it to its original upright posture, and I found myself powerless in the face of its gradual decline.
The Golden Pothos, or Devil's Ivy, was positioned on a bookshelf. At first, it flourished, but as time passed, its vibrant green leaves began to wither and dry up. Regardless of how much I altered its placement or watering routine, the plant continued to struggle, its vitality seemingly fading away. I had once cultivated this same plant during my time in Hong Kong, where the subtropical climate seemed to suit it perfectly, allowing it to thrive. Back then, it grew with such vigor that its sprawling vines seemed as though they might take over the entire world.
The plant that thrived the most was the String of Turtles. With its distinctive name, this small, trailing plant produced clusters of tiny vines that cascaded downward from the pot. From a distance, its arrangement resembled a giant, green spider with long legs. I gave it minimal attention, occasionally watering it, and yet, it continued to flourish.
The Hawaiian Schefflera, or Dwarf Umbrella Tree, was another favourite of mine. A small, cool-looking tree that reached about shoulder height, placed next to the couch, provided shade when close and a beautiful view from afar. However, after a couple of months, its leaves began to turn brown, eventually turning black. Upon going into my office one day, I discovered that most of its leaves had fallen off, and several black fungal growths had appeared at the base of the pot. Despite my prolonged attempts at saving it, the plant could not be revived.
One day, when I met with my supervisor, I noticed that her office was filled with various plants. Curious, I asked her for tips on plant care. She shrugged and said, "If it survives, keep it; if not, don’t force it." After hearing this, it was as if a profound realization struck me. The truth is quite simple: learn to let go, accept things as they are, and understand that forcing something rarely leads to happiness.
Like many relationships, whether it can be sustained often depends on timing and circumstances. Investing excessive energy and harbouring unrealistic expectations may not necessarily align with the other person's capacity to bear the burden.